Charissa Wong

Hi so sorry this took so long but was having lots of test this week so yup. Here’s my testimony about God’s mercy upon my A level results which I received in March this year. I went to ACJC after my o levels and I got into the best arts class by default. I didn’t know if it was a blessing or a joke because I'm really not the naturally smart kid at all. My class was filled with scholars and they were all very competitive, what you call closet muggers you know? So from the start of J1, I felt that JC was so difficult to cope and I really felt the pressure of having to do well, of which I really couldn’t. And it was so demoralising all the way because no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t do well. Like even if I spent the night doing a 7 page essay, I couldn’t even get half the mark of another person who did a 2 page essay in front of the TV.

exams came.

I studied very hard for my promos and I got a DEFF for my math, econs, lit, history. I got the lowest for math, an embarrassing 32%. This was how the exam went - I looked at Qn 1, ok skip. Qn 2, ok skip. Then skip till I reached the last Qn and I had no more to skip. I felt so inferior about myself cos my classmates were all crying that they didn’t get their As when all I was hoping for was just to pass.

With my results I scraped through and I went onto j2 but I was forced to drop econs, while the rest of my classmates kept 4 subjects and added on 2 or more "s" papers. So j2 came and I got busier with hockey and everything else but I still studied as hard as I could. But well, I failed my term exam in jc2 with DFF. F for math. AGAIN.

so when everything died down by June I told myself that I had to study and I prayed so hard to God because I really had and needed to go to uni. So I studied really hard and I thank God for blessing me with the one thing that I’ve always had and that’s a fighting spirit. I had one spot at MacDonald’s that I went to every single day everyday and I would buy food and sit there from 10am to 10pm just studying and doing papers one after another one after another and I never left the table throughout the day. I had food lined around my seat so I didn’t have to get up from my seat at all except for toilet breaks. this routine kept going on and on and on for about 3 months. By then, every time I walked into that Macs, the person or people would prompt each other cos “eh the girl’s here already. Let’s move.”  So prelims came and guess what I got from all that hard studying. CEF. F for math again. And of course my classmates all had As and Bs. It was like everything was playing a huge joke on me. I never got a C in my entire 2 years in ac, not even for an assignment or a test. My very first c came in such a bittersweet manner because C was for my history. History came in 2 papers and I got a B for one (I almost fainted when I saw the B) but F for the other (WHAT??) and so on the average I got a final mark of D, which was then moderated to a C. sigh.So I cried out to God is this a joke or something? Why?? But I told myself I couldn’t give up cos I would be letting down the people who put so much faith in me like my parents my teachers all that. But my morale and self esteem was rock bottom.

It was like less than 2 months to my A levels and I was still struggling with this kind of rotten results I felt so helpless and useless.So I kept studying like I did and I didn’t take a break when everyone else did. And everyone called me crazy but they didn’t understand how much I wanted this so badly. They didn’t understand how difficult this was for me. Of course I did burn out but somehow God gave me the strength to push on. So As came, tired as I was after doing dozens of essays and sums, I went for the papers. And worse of all I fell sick it really isn’t funny trying to manage 3 5/6 sided essays within 4 hours. I hardly even had the time to look at my watch once, all the more try to blow my nose periodically. Every time I came out of the exam hall I just felt like crying cos the papers were all so tough and I knew I wasn't going to make it.

And the last day of As everyone went out but I went home and I cried cos I knew for sure that I was never going to make it to uni. I never passed my math before what could I expect? I wanted it so badly but I prepared my mom that it wasn’t going to happen. I tried but I know my potential and I knew how I performed during my papers. I had absolutely no confidence of even getting one C (I thought the C during my prelims was going to be my first and last), all the more think of going to uni. The word here is "think", all I could do now was to think; to imagine because it wasn’t going to happen anyway.

Slowly the months passed and the TV announced that A level results was coming out the next week. My heart sank when I heard the news. I kept getting nightmares in the week leading up to results day and they were all so vivid, I saw myself walking towards my teacher and hearing him say I’m sorry but you got FFF. And I woke up with swollen eyes cos I had been crying through the night.As the days drew closer, I got so scared I told my mom I really don’t think I can make the minimum mark of going to uni which is ABC I didn’t even think that I was going to get any c at all cos I never got beyond that for my entire JC life. But my mom said that somehow she felt the peace from God (though she admitted later that she was crying out to God for mercy haha!) but I was still panicking like I was almost going to go crazy.  

Finally d-day came; results day came and I went to school and I already prepared myself that I wasn’t going to make it. So I asked my mom to come to collect me in case I fainted. I managed to pull dad along too cos I knew that I was probably going to be too heavy for mom to manage on her own. And who was going to collect her if she fainted too.After announcements and the principal’s speech, all the top students were then called onto stage. That is the practice in ac if you’re called you go onto stage and you shake the principal’s hand and get your cert from her. my class being the best arts class, obviously my friends all started going onto stage one by one and everyone was cheering and all. so I helped them to carry their bags and I was trying to cheer and clap with all the bags in my lap. even though I knew that I wasn’t going to make it but I was still very happy for them. And suddenly from the list, I heard a wong whye something and then cheering, so like the rest I was looking out for that person and trying to clap for him or her. Then everyone turned around and shouted “eh chare its you la!” I just brushed it off and continued smiling at them and clapping because I couldn’t register whatever they were saying to me. Then my friend next to me grabbed all my bags and pushed me out of my seat and said “its you la go!” And I covered my mouth in shock (my dad still mocks me and imitates how unglamly shocked I looked) and I walked towards the stage but I still didn know what was happening. I just felt my legs walking towards the stage but I couldn’t contain anything that had just happened. The next thing I knew, I was right there on that very stage shaking my principal’s hand. I still remember how my principal said 3 words to me “yes, its you” (like as if she really knew my pathetic state haha)

I grabbed onto my cert so tightly in both hands and I checked every single detail on it: whye shan charissa. History, Mathematics, Literature AAA. ME?? And I started crying uncontrollably. God is so amazing and He works in wondrous ways. I did not just get into uni and I did not just get a C. He blessed me with not 1 but 3 As and a scholarship to NUS.God is so good, isn’t he? So yeah for you all having exams, trust and believe cos with God, all things are truly possible.